Zapp Brannigan
Zapp Brannigan is a military officer for the Democratic Order Of Planets of at least a Captain; usually of the Earth Ship Nimbus, but briefly of the luxury liner Titanic. Later in the series he is introduced as a Twenty-Five Star General or General Major Webelo. Personality Although Zapp Brannigan is considered a great military hero by many people, most who have met him are less impressed by his arrogant, incompetent, chauvinistic, cocky and supremely vain personality. Sexuality Brannigan envisions himself a "ladies' man", but also completely clueless in matters of romance. On first meeting Leela, he ended up having pity sex with her. In later encounters, he invariably refers to this interlude. He remains convinced that Leela lusts after him and will eventually return to him, despite her (often literally) violent opposition to the idea. His overconfidence in this is such that he does not hesitate to hit on other women in the meantime, even in Leela's presence. He is also frequently seen with female companions who are obviously prostitutes, or even men in drag. He also takes any opportunity to brag about any sexual conquests; after having sex with Leela, he says to Kif "I made it with a woman! Inform the men!" Masochism Brannigan has expressed on several occasions his fondness for being choked and spanked by strong women, though during an encounter with the Amazonians of the planet Amazonia, his personal limits were rapidly met and exceeded. After escaping and despite his pelvic injuries, he looked back on the experience fondly, sighing happily, "I had snu-snu". Karaoke Brannigan highly prizes his singing, calling himself "the Velour Fog", a parody of "The Velvet Fog", Mel Tormé. He does a seemingly William Shatner-esqe version of Lola, replacing the name Lola with Leela, to win back Leela's attention during an open-mike night on Le Palm D'Orbit. Amazon Women in the MoodThe results of his singing are predictable, as everyone runs screaming to escape pods and leaves, including the crew. Zapp is able to ignore the fact his singing makes everyone run. Speech Impediment Brannigan's pretensions of being suave are belied by his ignorance of how to properly pronounce words such as Champagne (he pronounces the silent g), bravo, encore, and guacamole (he treats the e as if it were silent and pronounces the first "a" as the "a" in cat), though, strangely, he has no problem with chutzpah or karaoke. This may be due to his "very sexy" learning disability; Sexlexia. War is the H-Word Relationships Relationship with Kif Kroker Kif Kroker, the beleaguered lieutenant and personal assistant, is usually at Brannigan’s side and is often given the blame when things go wrong, which is more often than not. Although Brannigan is often unconcernedly and unknowingly cruel towards Kif, he is also the closest thing Zapp has to a friend. Relationship with Turanga Leela Turanga Leela once had pity sex with ZappLove's Labours Lost in Space and after that, Zapp kept trying to date her even though Leela always said no, sometimes with violence involved. Relationship with Amy Wong Zapp once had sex with Amy Wong after her Fonfon Ru, Kif, died. This relationship didn't last and when Kif came back to life, he and Amy broke off their relationship because of this.The Beast with a Billion Backs Military History While perhaps not the best leader of men, Zapp is a dedicated soldier who does his duty despite not always understanding what that means. When asked by one of his men why they were expected to fight and die for a planet, he responds; “'Don't ask me: it's you who'll be dying!” Brannigan also values the law more than friendship, such as when he peruses the Planet Express crew into a wormhole.Into the Wild Green Yonder A Charismatic Leader While not the most inspirational leader, Brannigan is able to motivate his troops if he needs to. For example, before sending his men onto Spheron I, he tells them, "We can only assume this: they stand for everything we don't stand for. Also, they told me you guys look like dorks!" On the other hand, his troops are not always particularly fond of him. During a meal in the Nimbus mess hall when he raised a glass and called for support, met only by a stony silence and one anonymous crewman yelling "You suck!"War is the H-Word Tactics These examples show a consistent approach to battles in Brannigan’s tactics. He generally triumphs over weaker foes that often lack the ability to fight back. He doesn’t seem to make any attempt to understand his enemy, their culture, tactics, or any other aspects of his foes before engaging them. Instead he sends waves of cannon fodder to overwhelm the enemy, and when this fails he gives up. He has written at least one book about military tactics, titled Zapp Brannigan's Big Book of WarLove Labour's Lost in Space, based heavily on Sun Tzu's The Art of War, and looks like a Dr. Seuss book with his face on it. Battle with the Kill-bots At some point before the beginning of the series, Zap defeated a foe known as killbots, by sending wave after wave of his own men at them until the killbots reached their pre-programmed kill limit and shut down. Vergon 6 Upon meeting the Planet Express crew over Vergon 6, Zapp arrests them for violating Brannigan's Law, but later releases them after scoring with Leela. As Captain of the Titanic Zapp is given the honorific command of the maiden voyage of the luxury liner the Titanic. Unfortunately, the simple and safe route planned for the voyage was not exciting enough for Brannigan, so he altered the flight plan to a more challenging one. The new route brought the ship dangerously close to comets and black holes, but it was only when the ship flew into a black hole that Zapp realized his mistake. After leaving Kif in charge, Zapp fled the Titanic and left its passengers to their fates.A Flight to Remember War Against Omicron Persei 8 When his enemies actually fight back shows how 'good' a commander Zapp is. When the Omicronians invade Earth, Brannigan is put in charge of the defense of Earth. He orders his forces to "line up and fly directly at the enemy death cannons, clogging them with wreckage", and amid heavy losses, his forces succeed in destroying what turned out to be the Hubble Space Telescope. When the Omicronian forces actually engaged the DOOP fleet, Zapp’s forces are effortlessly decimated and Earth is defeated. Dismissal from DOOP As the great hero of DOOP military forces, Brannigan is given the honor of cutting the ribbon at the opening of the new $400 billion DOOP space station. Zapp is distracted by the arrival of the Planet Express crew who were delivering the ceremonial scissors for the ribbon cutting, and promptly arrests and detains them in his flagship, charging them with conspiring with the neutral people. When the time comes, he opts to cut the ribbon by using the tactical laser, on it's highest setting Hyperdeath™, from the Nimbus rather than returning to the station. He accidentally cuts not only the ribbon, but the entire station in two pieces. After this, DOOP's commander was willing to dismiss all charges until Leela gave her testimony, leading to Zapp getting a dishonorable discharge from DOOP. Reinstatement to DOOP After joining the Planet Express crew, Brannigan instigated a mutiny and used his new position as captain to attack the home world of his hated enemies; the Neutral Planet. During the resulting trial, Leela lies for Zapp so he won't return to Planet Express. Invasion of Spheron I During the war for Spheron I, “a barren wasteland with no natural resources or any strategic value,” Zapp displays his foolhardy type of tactics, by sending his men on suicidal attacks on the ball-people. He ultimately succeeds in negotiating the surrender of his foes after installing a powerful bomb in the chest cavity of a brave soldier. Defense of Earth from Decapodians After the political friction between Earth and Decapod 10, the Decapodians invade Earth. Brannigan unwisely trusts a barely disguised Decapodian spy, Hugh Man, with the command codes for Earth’s global defense system, and Earth falls to the invaders with ease, though Zapp predictably blames Kif for the debacle. Brannigan also plays a minor role in the resistance to the Decapodian occupation. Court Marshal of the Planet Express Crew Upon finding the Planet Express crew in the middle of a battle with Melllvar, Brannigan arrests and court marshals them for setting foot on the forbidden planet Omega 3, even though Mellvar hasn't stopped attacking.Where No Fan Has Gone Before War for Tarantulon 6 After his victorious conquest of the "weak and womanlike" Spiderians of Tarantulon 6, the resulting plunder was split up between Earth’s inhabitants, $300 for each person.Three Hundred Big Boys Battle for Earth Against the Scammers After the entire Earth was scammed out of their belongings by the Nude Alien Scammers, the exiled Earthlings, as well as several other factions, eventually decided to fight back and assembled a fleet to engage the Scammers’ solid gold Death Stars. Although Brannigan initially took command of the attack, his suicidal tactics led to high casualties and he was soon succeeded in command by the Planet Express ship.Bender's Big Score Operation Against The Anomaly After a tear in the universe, the anomaly, appears, Earth President, Nixon decides to send a military expedition to destroy the anomaly, led by Zapp Brannigan. When the Nimbus reached the anomaly, Brannigan ordered a missile to be fired into it, but the missile malfunctioned. Zapp ordered Kif to unjam the ordinance, but caused him to become stuck to it when he repeatedly pressed the launch button. The resulting event brings about Kif’s death, although Yivo eventually brings Kif back to life.The Beast with a Billion Backs Other Operations Zapp Brannigan is also known to have been involved in the following military engagements: *Carpet Bombed of Eden 7.Brannigan, Begin Again *Defeated the Pacifists of Gandhi Nebula.When Aliens Attack *Conquered the Retiree People of the Assisted Living Nebula. *Failed to stop invaders from Nintenduu 64 in an alternate reality.Anthology of Interest II Appearances Episodes *"Love's Labours Lost in Space" *"A Flight to Remember" *"When Aliens Attack" *"Brannigan, Begin Again" *"The Lesser of Two Evils" *"Raging Bender" *"Anthology of Interest I" *"War is the H-Word" *"Amazon Women in the Mood" *"Where the Buggalo Roam" *"I Dated a Robot" *"Anthology of Interest II" *"Kif Gets Knocked Up A Notch" *"A Taste of Freedom" *"Where No Fan Has Gone Before" *"Three Hundred Big Boys" *"The Devil's Hands Are Idle Playthings" Films *"Bender's Big Score" *"The Beast with a Billion Backs" *"Into the Wild Green Yonder" Comics *"...But Deliver Us to Evil!" *"DOOP the Right Thing!" *"More than a Filling!" *"Soldier Boys" *"Full Metal Racket" *"Homeward Boned" *"Welcome to my Nightmall" *"The Fry and the Furious!" *"Slaves of New New York!" References Category:Characters Category:Humans